In each thing we do, there is always a reason. It could be logical or the craziest one ever. Today, laying on my bed I thought “huh, my reasons seem to be crazy as well.”
My hobbies aren’t that extravagant. It’s not unique, but it’s mine and I'm proud of them. I love to sing in my spare time, it gives me emotions and feelings I don’t just get anywhere. I love to read the lyrics and get hyped at how good it was made; on how the music has been produced, I love the small details incorporated into it, to bring life. It’s satisfying singing songs that one relates to. It’s satisfying reaching that one note I’ve been practicing for ages.
Another hobby would be drawing. Now, I'm no talented artist or something. I’ve been lazy in improving so not much has changed in my art style. I started drawing very young, like all kids, I started with stick figures and slowly improved from there. I did make fairly good ones before, maybe because I did an effort and was motivated that time, it didn’t last that long. The reason for drawing before was because I saw that people praised me when I did. So when I improved and did good I got that small attention I longed from people. Then when I noticed that I wasn’t improving as fast as I thought after, I just stopped. My younger did a better job, he improved faster than me and is still improving up till now, but unlike before, I'm not bothered. I got past that moment of jealousy. I learned that it wasn’t worth it. I left the me who longed for praises, and built a me who just loved what she does. Now, although not as good as before, I have once again enjoyed something I thought I wouldn’t.
My third hobby is Scrolling through the internet and playing online games, and I do this almost all the time, as sad as it may seem, my phone is like my friend. I had a lot of friends when I was young. I loved playing outdoors but growing up, that slowly changed. I became self-conscious of the people who were around me and because of that I slowly shut my doors in almost anyone I knew. I lost the confidence I had as a kid and I somehow would think people would leave me so I controlled myself to just not care anymore. Having social media and playing online games, I somehow found a new safe zone for me. I wasn’t retrained and enjoyed spending my time online rather than off. I met new friends and enjoyed their company. For a while, it helped me not think of the problems I faced at that time. It was just sad since, in reality, I had people who are always around me but never asked me how I was. I learned to hide through a mask under another mask when I'm outside. But I feel free when I'm online. I am slowly opening up to people now. I'm trying. I'm grateful to the friends I've met offline. They honestly helped.
Lastly is reading. I'm no book lover, but I love ebooks. I love to read fan-made stories since I think that they bring the best of emotions that I could easily connect to. I have a very imaginative mind so it is very easy for me to recreate that certain scenario in my head. I would act out, lines from books especially when the story has gone dark. I'm into dark-type books. Books that involve scenes not for kids. I believe that I as a reader could feel the growth of a character after all the things the protagonist has been through. I feel the emotions more, that’s why I prefer reading sad books rather than happy ones. Reading sad books also helps me mentally I guess? I'm not sure how to explain it, but I like to feel the numbness, the hate, the pain in a story because I can’t express mine in reality. It’s a reason for me to shed tears and move past after. For some weird reason, it balances me and my emotions.
Anyways that will be all the hobbies I’ll be sharing. What about you? Any hobbies you would like to share? And what are their reasons? How have those helped you? Are you okay? I hope you are though. So yeah, Good EveDawn Everyone!
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